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damn... what a curveball. Thursday. 8.19.04 10:56 pm so... my life of solitude has grown into complete solitude now. my one and only true friend is gone. fuck me i have no friends. Cyrus Jones 1810 to 1913 Made his great granchildren believe You could live to a hundred and three A hundred and three is forever when you're just a little kid So Cyrus Jones lived forever Gravedigger When you dig my grave Could you make it shallow So that I can feel the rain Gravedigger Muriel Stonewall 1903 to 1954 She lost both of her babies in the second great war Now you should never have to watch Your only children lowered in the ground I mean you should never have to bury your own babies Gravedigger When you dig my grave Could you make it shallow So that I can feel the rain Gravedigger Ring around the rosey Pocket full of posey Ashes to ashes We all fall down Gravedigger When you dig my grave Could you make it shallow So that I can feel the rain Gravedigger Little Mikey Carson 67 to 75 He rode his Bike like the devil until the day he died When he grows up he wants to be Mr. Vertigo on the flying trapeze Ohhh, 1940 to 1992 Gravedigger When you dig my grave Could you make it shallow So that I can feel the rain Gravedigger When you dig my grave Could you make it shallow So that I can feel the rain Feel the rain I can feel the rain Gravedigger Comment! (0) | Recommend! bulimia and self-indulgence Saturday. 8.14.04 12:38 pm as with most blogs we're supposed to discuss something interesting, but this will lack that all together because there is nothing interesting to think about on a saturday morning. so i woke up early and its my weekend off from work, a much needed weekend off at that and i think i'll have to spend most of my morning cleaning - which is never any fun for me if you know what my room looks like right now. work is all right, i'm getting used to the motions and screwing up less and less. yesterday the DON bought me popeye's for lunch. i think things are getting better there. also, it was hawaii day and we had a 'beach' party for the residents and housed adopt-a-pet. so we had music going in the dining room and noisy conversations in the front lobby full of aww's and ooh's as nurses and residents and visitors flocked around the dogs, petting them and talking babytalk to them. it was a really big distraction, but somehow i got everything i needed to finish this week done. Comment! (0) | Recommend! polyvinyl records Thursday. 7.29.04 6:12 pm has great music. now i know where my paycheck is going. Comment! (0) | Recommend! Go Sam Go! Thursday. 7.29.04 8:31 am Comment! (0) | Recommend! I told you I had hugs in storage for you. I told y Wednesday. 7.28.04 5:41 pm
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Comment! (0) | Recommend! this post has soul Tuesday. 7.27.04 5:50 pm listening to: Armor For Sleep - Slips like Space sure, i probably have about 1 reader nowadays, which is okay, because it doesn't bother me that nobody reads the shit i put up here, which it all really is... shit. i've tried to keep myself from putting stuff on here, or on my xanga, or anywhere on the internet, but for some reason, there's comfort to be had to know that its up somewhere, someplace, where it is easily reached by any prying eyes, the bored, the unentertained, whoever, it doesn't matter. but it comes down to this is for me, and really nobody else. it is a place for me to store my thoughts and expressions of life, and granted the last few posts were nothing more than lyrics from cds i recently obtained (damn good cds too). a look through my AIM buddy lists makes me realize that i don't know half the people on there anymore. the screennames bring me to a blank when i try to think of the person's face. i know we've met before, but i don't know who you are. oh well. for over a year, i haven't felt the need to talk to very many people anyways. you can't live in high school forever. it seems that my old way of thinking the world is going to end has come true. nothing is as it was and its all really good. its like, a new life, even though i never left town. going through my old cds is so damn nostalgic and euphoric. its like going through a black hole and coming out the other end as i was a couple years ago. all the old feelings of love and loss and unrequitted and anger and satisfaction... and memories of people i've shared so many good things with, and people i've shared so many bad things with. i hope everyone finds their medium in life, and gets to where they want to be. i want everyone to be happy and smile and think back to the days when we were all together and think 'those were the best days of my life.' but i think i'm asking too much. anywho... its amazing how much four days of vacation can do for you. going to new orleans was somewhat depressing from the circumstances which led me there, my ill grandfather with liver cancer who is undergoing chemotherapy. sad times, but everything else is going so well and i honestly don't know how things can muck up this time. i guess its all in a task of letting go. yesterday will always be yesterday... and too much time has been spent wishing i could redo yesterday. eventhough everyday life is pretty uneventful, i wake at the crack of dawn and get ready for work, then leave my house about a quarter to 8 and work until 4:30, then i come home to watch tv, or post here, or listen to music. the sparse calls from my friends don't offer any relief from lonliness, but hey, i asked to be alone. i'm not trying to complain, just coping with the situation at hand. but i'm making money and its good money at least i know i won't be 23 years old with no way to take care of myself. i am thankful for that. Comment! (0) | Recommend! |
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